Success is whatever brings you inner peace through fulfillment. For me, this quest began in 2014 when I left Lagos. From Lagos to Awka and Accra, I have always lived within the embrace of family. Brampton was my first attempt at being independent. My memory falls short often, but I vividly remember my mother’s tearful farewell the night before my flight. She sat me down on the bed, with tears rolling down her eyes, she reminded me of my father’s disapproval of my journey to the Western world, & how she was taking a risk with me. I have only seen my mom teary a handful of times, I didn’t know what was ahead of me or what I was getting myself into, but I couldn’t stop myself from wondering why she chose me of their 6 kids. While I was fairly academically inclined, my character posed challenges. It was my last year as a teenager but my whole teenage life had been disastrously troubled. I was the slender temperamental middle child who was constantly at loggerheads with everyone, especially family. The more I pondered why she chose me, the more revealing it became that destiny did.
A name, whether good or bad, would earn you respect or the opposite. Ideally, most want a good name until life tests you halfway. My decision to fend for myself, independent of any familial support was intended to earn me a respectable name, & it did. The place I come from, my people celebrate more when you start from the bottom because it’s your personal glory, & no one else’s to claim. I embraced this philosophy from time immemorial. To survive those initial years of hardship, I did what I had to. I learned that survival was primary, and that everything else would matter thereafter. The earlier I understood this unspoken truth of survival, the higher I found myself on the food chain. This level of understanding usually comes with age and time, however, experience taught me early enough and shaped me up into a teenage man ahead of my years. You could tell from how malnourished I looked, I was barely surviving. Many linger in survival, they get sucked into the theatrics and lose themselves. Even the ones who make it out like me, never remain the same. They move on to other stages of life but respect becomes subjective.
A real man is known by the selfless sacrifices he makes. Of all the many tough sacrifices I have lived through, be it giving up my youthfulness or my childhood lawyer ambition, none would ever come close to the feeling of heartbreak I felt after Ereza. Never underestimate a heartbroken man’s desire to succeed. My yearn for success made my sizeable cubicle at West Mall my new home. Life was work and work was life, it was such that I barely ever saw the light in the days that would come to pass; it was dark when I left or returned home. “I have survived through worse, I would survive this seasonal feeling of heartbreak”, I always thought to myself. Then at West Mall, I would come to make new brothers in corporate apparels. The desire to succeed was common amongst us all, although the hunger was different for each. We would dine, hang out, joke and collaborate together until we learned to shake hands like politicians do. In this corporate world, we would come to know that values are simply numbers. Who knew I would have to relearn all I had unlearned to get by in my blue-collar days? 12 of us would become 4, and then 3. The ones who drives the numbers would themselves become a number.
Mine is not the story of a boy who came from nothing, I chose to come with nothing. Those unfamiliar with my game seldom regard me, my continued triumph has always come in the form of a shock. But who is to blame? I thrive on unpredictability; from carrying a fragile frame to graduating a military high school or being able to lift unusually heavier than I weigh, from appearing as calm as a dove to finding out my bullish mentality, from having an unruly circle of friends to unveiling my nerdy side - my narrative is a mosaic of surprises. Even my old mentor doubted my career path in sales, but doubt ignites intense motivation. I always felt this urge to prove something, that underdog mentality to outwork everyone became intrinsic. So, while everyone else relied on talent, I placed my bets on consistency & hard-work. Yet, it became a thing of wonder when, in a team with a record high turnover rate, I swiftly ascended to an Executive level. You could always see the disappointment in their faces. Predictability, in my world, lacks substance. After all, if life was a movie, the most captivating are those that defy expectations.
A rebel is not born overnight, experiences make one. I have grown to learn that my early character problems were due to my inability to properly manage emotions the times I was treated unjustly. In retrospect, this may have fuelled my desire for wanting to be a lawyer. Why make peace offerings when you can legally crush your enemies and make them hate your guts? Fate, however, had its own plans, leading me into one of the 3 towers at The West Mall’s crescent. Here, humble would become arrogant, ethics would become oblivious, and trust would measure below a feather-weight. They will tell you it’s the survival of the fittest, even though they are overweight. Here, they obsess over control, they want to choose who succeeds and who doesn’t. When you are the unmarked one who goes against the grain, then the story needs a villain, so they create a good one. Everybody would come to know your story more than you do, but who cares if it were true or not? They tell it so much, you start to play the part they want to see or hear, because the name you’ve earned, though not a respectful one, still strikes fear. Playing the part becomes effortless, unbeknownst to you, your mind starts to enjoy it, until they need a new storyline that wouldn’t involve you. Easy to make a villain, but numbers do not absolutely mean justice. I lost a means but found God.
When God brings you down, he also gives you an opportunity to pick up the ideals you dropped on your way up. It was not by chance that I made more enemies than friends. When they went low, I took them to hell. In the end, neither the hero nor the villain are spared, as one is scorched to ashes, the other’s conscience slowly dies. Every time I went down to hell, I returned with demons, both new and old. In my mind, this was what success entailed. Is it still success when you have achieved your set goals but the means doesn’t bring you happiness? The ones who don’t fall won’t fathom how high they levitate. I blame myself for forcing my way into a place I was never wanted and for not knowing when or how to quit. In this journey, I have learned to appreciate my highs and lows, to accept that I was not a saint so it’s a fair game when I fall, and to choose my environment wisely because toxicity can come in all forms, even as abbreviations you Couldn’t Do Without.
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